tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64914305357376379742024-03-05T02:32:48.371-08:00Fortinbrasone has to take the city by the neck and shake it a bitFortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-69096780562020354742010-08-11T13:04:00.000-07:002010-08-11T13:08:07.839-07:00<strong><span style="font-size:130%;color:#cc6600;">A Blasphemous Fuck<br /></span></strong><br />Check this out: I'm a Gemini, right? So that means I was born 9 months after Ramadan, a time when people are supposed to restrain from sex. So that means my very existence is an insult to Islam...<br /><br />I'm so proud of myself!<br /><br />I think I'm gonna have a t-shirt made with the legend: "I was conceived during Ramadan and I turned out OK!"Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-85081860093163759942010-03-26T10:04:00.000-07:002010-03-26T10:06:25.671-07:00<span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">Life's Choices</span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRPJ71SIlXCDaQ_lp0cJtH3xcBkDngRyae6VEGabedxObuGDhrk53cuA7FlTGvf97-2Airsc5ubpybq6csxCLyeCIqEm-k25GN0kxb8zD_Nk_kmHFqv22q_BNncZMchsaHtKs4tImeRFnL/s1600/phd032410s.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 256px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRPJ71SIlXCDaQ_lp0cJtH3xcBkDngRyae6VEGabedxObuGDhrk53cuA7FlTGvf97-2Airsc5ubpybq6csxCLyeCIqEm-k25GN0kxb8zD_Nk_kmHFqv22q_BNncZMchsaHtKs4tImeRFnL/s320/phd032410s.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452989867196072290" border="0" /></a>Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-25208893001293623912010-03-11T21:42:00.000-08:002010-03-11T21:44:35.564-08:00<span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">Food for Thought</span></span><br /><br />"I know it's hard to believe that there is someone who lives in a land of perpetual snow, works one day a year and eats reindeer, but just look at Sarah Palin."<br /><br />(A friend, proving the existence of Santa Claus).Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-77426957709215087762010-02-02T13:40:00.000-08:002010-02-02T13:42:01.238-08:00<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" >A healthy breath of Hate</span><br /><br />I just discovered that am highly intolerant toward people who are lactose intolerant.<br /><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-90362005538572799822010-01-19T22:54:00.000-08:002010-01-19T23:02:17.150-08:00<span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">Excusez moi, trou d'uc!</span></span><br /><br />Sad as the situation in Haiti is, it has allowed for people to learn about the history of struggle and oppression that this little country has always had. And in learning about that history, some have come to realize that the United States has not always been the Asshole of the World. No... Before the US, Russia and Germany, France had a <span style="font-style: italic;">prise extraordinaire</span> at that job. And boy, did they raise the bar high for any one to follow!<br /><br />Assholes...<br /><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-13117031448936438442009-11-04T17:15:00.000-08:002009-11-04T17:20:45.287-08:00<span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0); font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Wisdom from a friend</span><br /><br />"LOVE is a word that consists of four letters, two vowels, two consonants and two IDIOTS."<br />(Author Unknown)<br /><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-63929648529868896722009-10-22T00:17:00.001-07:002009-10-22T00:18:12.234-07:00<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" >Cat Betrays Girlfriend</span><br /><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/K-vd0s9Da2U&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/K-vd0s9Da2U&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-74228847287341817972009-10-06T18:54:00.000-07:002009-10-06T18:55:02.956-07:00<span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">Rejection, by Dylan Moran</span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br />Embedding for the video has been disabled, but here's the link: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS1NOXWVWgo">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS1NOXWVWgo</a></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">And here's the script. An amazing piece of wit:</span><br /><br />Dear Mr Black,<o:p></o:p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="ES-TRAD">I’m afraid your novel is unsuitable for us at the present time and herewith return your manuscript. I do hope you are not disheartened by this rejection. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="ES-TRAD">Best wishes,</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="ES-TRAD">Barnaby Chessington-Howe-Foxforth</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="ES-TRAD">REJECTION...</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">...</p><p class="MsoNormal">...</p><p class="MsoNormal">REJECTION...</p><p class="MsoNormal">...<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="ES-TRAD"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="ES-TRAD">Dear Mr Chessington How Fucks For Thee,<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Thank you for returning my manuscript, and your enclosed nasty niminy piminy little note. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am afraid YOUR letter is most unsuitable for ME at the present time as I’ve just spent the entire weekend writing the novel that you have summarily rejected. I can only presume that it’s company policy to reject all manuscripts not submitted in ten foot high braille. And yes, I am aware that it is traditionally bad form to respond to any kind of criticism or rejection, but in this as with all else I am an innovator, therefore I may freely address you as… pissmidget! </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Still, there’s time for you to change your views and I think you will when we meet and meet we most assuredly will, when I suck out your eyes and use them as stoppers for my ears to muffle the screams you'll make as I head-butt you into a fine paste. I do hope you will not be disheartened by your sudden, violent death.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Yours faithfully,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Bernard Black.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="">(Back to novel writing):</i> “Everyone… Everyone agreed he was right to kill the publisher. And to do it with with a flugal horn was a stroke of genius! </p> ‘Bernard!’, they said. No, Brendan. Brendan. ‘Brendan,’ they said. ‘Congratulations. Here: have this basket of stuff and come and stay for the weekend.’”Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-29383830495990910592009-02-14T11:10:00.000-08:002009-02-14T11:18:46.652-08:00<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" >My "Norwegian" Scam Partner</span><br /><br />I received this email today:<br /><br /><pre>455 Strand<br />Charing Cross, London, WC2R 0RH, UK<br />www.hsbc.co.uk<br /><br />Dear friend i am Stein Johansen.<br /><br />Working with HSCB London I know this message might meet<br />you in utmost surprise; however, it?s just my urgent<br />need for foreign partner that made me to contact you<br />for this transaction.<br /><br />I am a banker by profession from Norway and currently<br />holding the post of Director at HSBC UK.I have the<br />opportunity of transferring the left over funds<br />($10.million USD) of one of my bank clients Mr.<br />Andreas Schranner who died along with his entire<br />family on 31 July 2000 in a plane crash.<br /><br />You can confirm the genuine of the deceased death by<br />clicking on this web site:<br /><a href="https://po5.mail.umd.edu/wm/mail/fetch.html?urlid=445cb51cc1a1da8e337c35c2dc91b120a&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.bbc.co.uk%2F1%2Fhi%2Fworld%2Feurope%2F859479.stm" target="_blank">http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm</a><br /><br />Hence, I am inviting you for a business deal where this<br />money can be sharedbetween us in the ratio of 60/40, If<br />you agree to my business proposal quickly respond back by<br />indicating your willingness to be part of this great<br />business opportunity, equally include your contacts<br />telephone numbers and further details of the project will<br />be forwarded to you as soon as I receive your return mail.<br /><br />Send your reply via my private email:<br />contactjohansen@aol.com<br /><br />Have a great day.<br />Yours faithfully, Mr. Stein Johansen<br /></pre><br /><br />And this was my reply:<br /><br /><tt>Go fuck yourself, Herr Johansen! I hope you and your entire<br />family die in a plane crash on your wedding anniversary after<br />being conspicuously sodomized by Arab terrorists with<br />Down-syndrome and seeing your children being used as<br />flotations devices by pedophile Chinese businessmen.<br /><br />Good luck finding a foreign partner for your scam, though,<br /><br />Herr Doktor Yrke Fuckdusen<br /><br />PS: Being, as you are, a low criminal who only pretends to<br />work with HSCB London, I know this reply might meet you in<br />utmost surprise. I will understand if you don't respond<br />back indicating your willingness to be sentenced to death<br />by my on-line bank security provider.<br /><br /></tt>Man, we should bomb these lame assholes!Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-49388788536524794262009-02-11T19:57:00.000-08:002009-02-11T20:05:40.361-08:00<span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">Be My Valentine... NOT!</span><br /></span><br />Even <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKmdopStw3I">Mandela got divorced</a>, says Chris Rock. As for me, I'm not so old that I cannot be lonely; but I am too young to be bored.<br /><br />Here's what I mean:<br /><br /><object width="400" height="330"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/R6OaRcsfnY4&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/R6OaRcsfnY4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-25388392661161294052009-02-08T14:11:00.000-08:002009-10-06T18:57:45.863-07:00<span style="font-weight: bold;">Seth says the truth. </span><br /><br />Please leave this kid alone. He did something illegal only because prejudice and ignorance still dictate laws. The asshole who turned the picture over to the press is the one who should be hanging. And if my kids ever become junkies, it will probably have to do more with my parenting than with Michaels Phelbs' partying style.<br /><br />Roll it...<br /><br /><object width="510" height="290"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/ImUM5f4oSi-x2pp18eRU8w"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/ImUM5f4oSi-x2pp18eRU8w" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="412" height="236"></embed></object>Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-17947387557168295662009-02-06T18:38:00.000-08:002009-02-06T18:42:37.757-08:00<span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-size:180%;" >Poem</span><br /><br />Night draws near.<br />Leafless trees like pale veins<br />of a thing that was.<br />The intensity of light<br />concentrating far<br />ready for a pause.<br />Still magnificent<br />the day retreats.<br />There's nothing concrete<br />between you and the air-<br />only what you want<br />to believe is there.<br />Light is a pause from you.<br />Night draws<br />as the sun beats and fades.Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-6551515628404124802008-07-25T09:22:00.000-07:002008-07-25T09:24:25.645-07:00Things that make me happy today:<br /><ol><li>I'm writing again</li><li>Got a new desk</li><li>My guitar is tuned</li><li>Coffee was great this morning</li><li>Reading Simenon<br /></li></ol>Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-59048472897236797732008-04-02T08:42:00.001-07:002008-04-02T08:43:48.049-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/1/872266_74af5c8e6e.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/1/872266_74af5c8e6e.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/1/872266_74af5c8e6e.jpg"><br /></a>Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-17933546971274534322008-01-20T13:06:00.000-08:002008-01-20T13:11:04.718-08:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpz7mOLvHGaaEE31hi5plRPcrVHPhQNZs3N0kY1L-2xZqGkVz7WHnSzXsdSI8d0Bbgcuuq8mGJZ3n5gouPoorK3EYXr02L4sKuDo1rqmEwoMglPlaB5UP6SYOqpDOaLmZFITZVrMY1WLae/s1600-h/OjosVictoria.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5157668537958533618" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpz7mOLvHGaaEE31hi5plRPcrVHPhQNZs3N0kY1L-2xZqGkVz7WHnSzXsdSI8d0Bbgcuuq8mGJZ3n5gouPoorK3EYXr02L4sKuDo1rqmEwoMglPlaB5UP6SYOqpDOaLmZFITZVrMY1WLae/s200/OjosVictoria.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />Between flowers and future, eyes and hair, light and foil, remembrance and promise: Victoria.Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-17144276299527252802007-12-26T12:07:00.000-08:002007-12-26T12:13:13.491-08:00There's rain in the streets. Broken branches and sad-colored leaves on the ground. The snow hasn't quite made it here yet. I've been thinking a lot about cities and rooms. Something in me wants to be kept. At the same time, something resists confinement.<br /><br />I found a porcelain doll the other day. We used it for Christmas decoration. It made me think of how wonderful I used to find this bric-à-brac when I was little. There was something irresistibly endearing in the shapes and colors. And then I remember how much more useful shapes and colors were when I was little.<br /><br />Today there's rain in the streets. Broken branches and sad-colored leaves on the ground.Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-19023239764033532602007-12-17T13:06:00.000-08:002007-12-17T13:11:36.102-08:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-w2Lvez_zC37f4GKmcUGeB-JFUsKG7nhbFjEfDVjeAJv_NS4LNzm7sFtRHEvcK3YuVBBYMlonfElfvrF74MCR8ENkLEGEvJWXEkfzQryPggjwZS1YE-oq13DUvs2e78pYx3BKxnC-8zlw/s1600-h/Maryland2007+028.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-w2Lvez_zC37f4GKmcUGeB-JFUsKG7nhbFjEfDVjeAJv_NS4LNzm7sFtRHEvcK3YuVBBYMlonfElfvrF74MCR8ENkLEGEvJWXEkfzQryPggjwZS1YE-oq13DUvs2e78pYx3BKxnC-8zlw/s200/Maryland2007+028.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5145052428008819122" border="0" /></a><br />I see nothing beyond the net of my skin. The net of my fingers. The net of my love. I feel nothing beyond the net of my feet. The net of my heat. The neat of my frost. I see nothing beyond this Winter of love. Lingering both, lingering both.Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-37864341702319938822007-12-16T16:31:00.000-08:002007-12-16T16:36:11.691-08:00A fragmented world leads inexorably to decolonization, that is, an erosion of tradition, wherein the conscience of the self is subdued by the historicity of the subjective. This is, in short, my current line of thinking. I do not expect you, reader, to approve of it. I just thought I'd let you know.Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-257143125818259462007-12-14T06:29:00.000-08:002007-12-14T06:51:51.196-08:00I've been asked by a respected Spanish-speaking hack whether the title of my blog means "The Turret of Brassieres", <span style="font-style: italic;">fortín </span>apparently being Spanish for <span style="font-style: italic;">turret</span>, and bras being surreptitiously taken for the name of those useful but at times unpleasant depositories of the mammary glands.<br /><br />I am sorry to say that it's not, as much as I'd like it to be so. As every possible hint thrown around the luminous reality of this blog suggests, the name <span style="font-style: italic;">Fortinbras </span>comes from Zbigniew Herbert's poem "Elegy of Fortinbras". The poem shows Fortinbras, a Norse King, addressing Hamlet at the latter's deathbed. Of course, this interaction was suggested to Herbert by the characters in Shakespeare's play.<br /><br />So there.<br /><br />Besides, bras are such a petty and obtrusive thing I cannot conceive of having a blog dedicated to them. Though I must admit that the contents of said bras -and their beholders- are the source of many a tragedy, including, to some extend, that of our good boy Hamlet. <br /><br />For some reason, Fortinbras has made its way into the Eastern European imagination more conspicuously than Hamlet. One can only wonder why. But at least it explains why a Spanish-speaking deviator would not grasp it.Fortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6491430535737637974.post-38898104588634165252007-12-13T15:03:00.001-08:002007-12-13T15:04:48.925-08:00Now that we're alone we can talk prince man to manFortinbrashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03329755866302072339noreply@blogger.com0